each morning

Each morning I wake up. For a brief moment, everything is fine. Then the next moment I remember that my old life is gone. It's died a horrible death. Everything is lifeless.

I was once happy. I was content. I had my happily ever after and I was living it like a normal person. I was healthy. I had three beautiful, silly children and a handsome husband that worked hard to provide for our day to day needs.

I loved his ambition. I loved his drive and confidence. I loved his blue eyes and freckles. I loved his jokes.

We had a mortgage. We had a temple marriage. We were so blessed.

I was blissfully ignorant.

And then the death occurred. Like a bolt of lightning, my entire world crumbled with a phone call from a woman I didn't know. But my husband did. He'd been dating her for the past six months.

Not only did my marriage die in that instant. But it was the death of a dream, of a life, of a family, of a world I loved and thought I was happy in.

It's a fat pill to swallow. Suddenly, I'm thrown into a world of betrayal, lies, despair, anger, confusion, bitter tears, and a never ending string of "whys!?"

Its been a little over two weeks. I wake a little easier each day. But each morning is filled with the question, "Is this real life? Is this my life? What next? What's going to happen to me?"

It sucks.

Love,

AnneGirl