The Other Woman

This may seem weird...but "the other woman" (the woman who my husband was dating for the past six months) is actually a great person. 

She's been so helpful and cooperative and so apologetic. Yes, there are times I resent her A LOT and I don't REALLY know her. But, none of this is her fault. She was just a girl who thought she was dating a handsome and kind single guy. (Gag!) 

That night she called me and shattered my world, she just sobbed and sobbed over the phone and told me over and over again how sorry she was. She told me between her sobs (and choice words at Simon--because he was there in her apartment), "I'm a good person." And I believe she actually is. 

We were texting today because I had some questions for her. She answered willingly and expressed how she thinks of me daily and hopes I am finding peace. 

I told her that I thank her from the bottom of my heart for calling me that night and freeing me from a hell I didn't know I was living. 

Her answer to that astounded me and made me see what happened in a new light. She said she believed it was meant to be. That she was meant to call me. That maybe she had been put into Simon's path to free me that night. 

Wow. 

The Lord answers our prayers and meets our needs through others. That night in early November The Lord blessed me with a courageous phone call from my husbands mistress. It's a twisted, crazy, heart wrenching blessing. But a blessing nonetheless. Because of her, I know who I am married to. Because of her, Simon could finally recognize he needed help. Because of her, Simon was also freed from his living hell of shame and secrecy and sin! 

My stake president's words came to my mind during our texting: 

"Anne, Heavenly Father heard your prayers over the years. He let Simon use his agency. But He said, 'Enough is enough! I will no longer let this daughter of God, this woman I love, live in a non-celestial marriage any longer!' Anne, I firmly believe that He prepared you for that night, that everything happened the way it did for a reason. Your Heavenly Father was reaching out and protecting you."

I know my stake president is right. 

After talking with TOW, I also realized something else about her: she doesn't love Simon. Her attachment was lust too. She cares nothing for his improvement nor his recovery. She doesn't care about the deep, emotional underlying issues that contributed to his very poor and self-destructive behaviors and choices. She basically hates him. And she's allowed to. 

And I realized something about me too: that I do love Simon. I care about how he got to this point. I care about those deep, childhood issues. I care about his recovery. I care about him as a person and grieve with him for his choices even though he is the source of my pain. That is definitely brotherly love. A love only the Savior and I seem to have for Simon right now. 

I'm so glad I answered that call.